Queer and queer activism

Trigger warning: discussion of sexual, physical and psychological childhood abuse

"We know that, regardless of sexual orientation, people who exhibit gender non-conforming (or genderqueer) behaviour in childhood were at much higher risk of sexual abuse to begin with. New research has shown that children who exhibit gender non-confirming behavior (through dress, mannerisms, and/or interests) before age 11 (known to be about one in ten children), are at higher risk of being sexually abused by age 17 than their gender conforming peers. The risk of experiencing sexual abuse for gender non-conforming boys is especially alarming, at rates two to six times higher than gender conforming boys."

Amita Yalgin Swadhin

The Genderbread Person has been around for quite a while as a nice tool to explain gender, sex, and sexual orientation. The website genderbread.org has as latest version v4.0, which is from 2017, and which I feel falls short on several aspects. This is why this is my attempt to create version 5.0. I am aware that it will fall short on several aspects, but I feel I can explain my own gender and attraction much better using this version than version 4.0.

We are not just a few, but there are no specific services for us, nor specific materials in Spanish. Our situation is very different from that of cis survivors of sexual abuse.

I am a trans non-binary survivor of childhood sexual abuse. And there are many of us in Spain, although I don't know of any research that talks about us.

A fortnight ago my inner girl told me that she is a girl. It was an important revelation. Until then, I always called her "my child" so as not to assign her a specific gender, but from then on I call her "my girl", or, in German, "mein Mädchen", and the truth is that she smiles from ear to ear when I do it. In general, since she has told me that she is a girl, and since I have told her that this is fine, and that I love her all the same, she seems to have more energy and a better mood.

My inner girl. Today, my little girl, who until today I have called my inner child, told me that she is a girl. It wasn't easy for her, and she did it very quickly. I hugged her, and told her that it's fine, that I love her, that I respect her gender identity, but that for me it's not a big deal either and that she can change as often as she wants, and that I love her all the same.

Almost six months ago, at the beginning of my relationship with my inner girl, I wrote:

The term "cis passing" is a term for transgender and sometimes nonbinary people who pass as cisgender. For binary trans people, it means passing as a person of the gender you feel, for a nonbinary person, it can mean passing as a person of the gender assigned at birth or of the "opposite" gender.

Changing rooms - these access spaces to a swimming pool or gymnasium. I don't know anyone who likes changing rooms. There are people who try to maintain some privacy in these spaces that seem designed to take away any privacy. There are people who pretend that they don't mind the lack of privacy when they change into or out of their swimming costume or gym clothes.